Need for a Cultural Reorientation

‘Men need women to shape them, to refine them, to fix their flaws and all, that’s why men marry women because women can tolerate all the *bs* men bring with them’.

Picture Credit: Outreach Magazine

The above excerpt was from a discussion with a male colleague at work. I got wondering why someone would identify that he has a flaw, and instead of fixing it, would hope that his future spouse would do that for him after they get married? What’s wrong in identifying your problems and solving them and not necessarily waiting for an ‘angel’ to help you solve them?

If someone has a sense of entitlement, that means the person believes he deserves certain privileges — and he’s arrogant about it. The term ‘culture of entitlement’ suggests that many people now have highly unreasonable expectations about what they are entitled to.

https://www.vocabulary.com/dictionary/entitlement

We live in a society where women are taught from a young age, how to be the perfect daughter, wife, mother, etc. We failed to teach a large number of men how to be responsible and useful not only in public but in their immediate environment (family). This has led to a cultural shock, albeit a culture of entitlement. Some men don’t see kind gestures towards them by women as kind gestures, they feel it’s what they are entitled to, for no reason, other than they being ‘masculine’. I would like to think everyone is ‘human’ before societal and gender constructs came into place, therefore we should accord mutual respect to one another. If you know you cannot tolerate an act someone does to you as a human, don’t do that to another human regardless of their gender, status, etc.

Just yesterday, I was in front of the Igbosere Probate registry, and a man in his mid-50s or there about was breaking the shell of a kola nut on the floor. I looked at him like, why are you littering the floor?

He said he could feel my stare, ‘but that is what women are for. To clean the mess made by men. You get home and fling your shoes, and your wife arranges the house and does the cleaning. Only an overzealous man would assist his wife in cleaning the house’.

At this point, I was shook. I was livid! When did littering become a gender issue? We need serious Cultural reorientation in this country. Littering the environment is a bad thing, and we should not make it a gender construct when it comes to cleaning the environment. We are equally responsible for cleaning our environment! #StareDownOnPollution

Another day at work, a colleague finished eating his food and ordered the receptionist to wash his plates. He thought it was not befitting of him to wash his own plates, but saw no problem with ordering the receptionist, a lady older than him to clear his dishes! I had to enlighten him, and make him understand that when someone helps you with a chore, it’s simply an act of kindness on the part of the helper, and not something you are entitled to, especially when it’s not a paid service. Even employees deserve respect from employers.

NK told me about one time at home when her cousin wanted to take his dish to the kitchen and her younger brother prevented him. He said, ‘Leave it, Abasi is a woman, she will take it to the kitchen’. Abasi happens to be the twin sister of the speaker. At this point, NK had to re-orientate her brother and make him understand that as a human, you have to clean after your own mess, and not leave it behind for the women in your life to. The upbringing we give children goes a long way in determining how their future turns out.

In conclusion, we have gotten to a point where we need to raise our boys too and not our girls only. They need to learn to show respect, tolerance and understanding for the opposite sex. This is not to say the female folk isn’t guilty of disrespect; it’s just to say we should teach both sexes how to love and respect others because at the end of the day we are all humans. #BalanceForBetter Whatever you cannot tolerate as a human, don’t do it to another human, it’s as simple as that!

Mazeedah Hassan
Mazeedah is very passionate about a healthy environment. She believes achieving the SDGs would make the world a safer place. She likes reading, playing checkers, lawn tennis, and adventure. “The World is big enough for EVERYONE to develop their full potentials. There is no need for VIOLENCE and HATRED as it leads us NOWHERE but CHAOS.