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Nobody can love you like I can ……

Domestic Violence

living with domestic violence

Let me try and put myself in their shoes ……

They say …

Should I stay or should I go

We love each other

It was just that one time they raised their voice.. we got over it

They said, they would never do it again

(it happens again)

The inner turmoil ensues. They go through all the motions again; they remember the fun times.

They go through their Rolodex of happy memories and begin to convince themselves that this; this would be the last time.

Then people will say …

See ehen you don turn punching bag oh, how you fit stay there

Na wa oh! They don’t have sense to move out ni

They are staying because of the money and fame jare, they want to save face

In fact, I don’t feel sorry for them

But what we don’t see is how strong they are and what they face…

They are told, you can’t talk or tell anyone or I will harm your children

They have no access to the outside world; they are put on a lease

I’m sorry I can’t talk to you now, my oga won’t be happy with me

They begin to think what would people say

Then they get aggressive…

It’s not your life jor leave me alone, we understand each other.

Then they accept and try and move forward…

Chai, I should leave them oh, I’m better than this

Then the questions come

Where would I go, how would I look, chai God na me be this

In fact, I’m leaving tomorrow, but what about the kids

What if I can’t get them, Oluwa oh where are you na

If I go what will I do? I have no education no skills..

Baba God from where to where

They had that look in their eye again, the same look they have before the beatings begin

They were not looking at me; they were looking at my children

Yes,  I’m getting out of here enough is enough

Now I’m Ready.


This is Physical

This is Mental

This is Emotional

This is Domestic Violence

It happens to both men and women

Give them time and be ready when they are.

Freedom from domestic violence




Ore Adeyinka
Oreoluwa Adeyinka is a recent graduate from Georgia Southern University with a Masters of Public Health Environmental Health. Being a child of missionaries she was able to experience different cultures in different countries and that prompted her interest in the environment at a young age.