Please assign a menu to the primary menu location under menu

Her Dreams Are ValidWomen

Let’s Talk About Female Sex Education

What Girls Need To Be Told

For two weeks or so I have been deciding whether I wanted to write on this issue or not. The reason being that there are so many levels to this topic.

So, I want to have a conversation on Sex Education (yeah, I said it, now what). I’m more concerned about what girls are being taught, be it from home or at school.

I do not distinctly remember a time where I was taught about Sex Ed in school and no I’m not talking about the reproduction classes that we had. I just had some cringe worthy flashbacks. Apart from conversations here and there with my mom, which were mainly about Abstinence, I don’t recall any Sex Ed classes. I used the internet to answer most of my questions. This is the part where I tell you that my parents are pastors so you get the gist. And yes, my mom put the fear of God in me and I’m still waiting for that special person and till that happens I’m married to Jesus.

Now, I’m not against abstaining, but there is so much more that girls need to know about their sexual health to survive in this world. I just do not understand why it’s (abstaining) all that girls are told to do. I’m going to list a couple of things and I want you to answer truly how many of these things were you informed about before you left secondary school (this information should have come from a teacher, counsellor or a parent.):

  • What is a female condom is and how to use it
  • The option of tampons
  • What to do when you are ready to have sex (if you want to have sex before marriage, do you boo)
    • ie. the use of lubrication and your own personal protection like a contraceptive etc.
  • One word: Gynaecologist
  • What consent is (in a relationship and in marriage)
  • How to take care of your “ho ha”
  • Masturbation (yes, I said it, and this also includes the use of toys)
    • please note that I’m not talking about the act, but what your body feels that may prompt the act
  • The difference between a Sexually Transmitted Infections (STI), Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STD) and a Yeast infection
    • and just so you know you can get an STI without having sex

I will stop here and wait patiently for you to think about it

The problem with teaching just abstinence and not the reasoning behind it is that you don’t give girls a choice on what they want in their lives. When my mom first told me, Ore, no sex till you marry . I was like okay, no whala, mind you I was in JSS and kissing was yucky to me. It wasn’t till I got to university and had a deeper relationship with God and understood myself more that I felt this is the path I want to take with my life.

Please understand that I’m not advocating for promiscuity. All I’m asking for is some clarity, educate them on the pros and con of opening their legs and what they should be aware of. There is no holier than thou syndrome here.

My people, peer pressure is real and strong, trust and believe that a handout listing Do’s and Don’ts, does not help a developing female. If she falls in with the wrong crowd, out goes your handout and all your rules.

All I’m asking for is a class that teaches young girls honestly about what goes on in these streets, how to defend themselves and how to carry themselves. Without an effective sex education, we are putting young girls at great risk. They do not know what is acceptable and what is not, they don’t know who to turn to for advice, and they are easily taken advantage of.

I am tired of hearing stories of how this new generation girls now are “bad” or that they have no respect for their bodies or that they lack self-respect. If you teach them, they would learn.

If you teach them, they would learn.

In the end, All I want is for a conversation to start.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ore Adeyinka
Oreoluwa Adeyinka is a recent graduate from Georgia Southern University with a Masters of Public Health Environmental Health. Being a child of missionaries she was able to experience different cultures in different countries and that prompted her interest in the environment at a young age.